The first story I want to share with you is my own. I met PFC Nathan Camp in elementary school. Nathan and I grew up down the street from each other and attended the same schools, however, we were never really part of the same crowd. On December 14, 2011, Nathan took me out on our very first date. It was a wonderful evening that ended with him informing me that he would be leaving for basic training in just a few short weeks. Nathan left for basic training mid-January and he spent the next year and a half going through basic, AIT, and some sort of specialized training. He got three weeks off in July this past summer, and we had a blast together, however, while I was packing up and getting ready to head off to college, Nathan was packing up and shipping out. At this very moment, Nathan is in Korea, I don't know how long he'll be gone, when he's coming home again, or where we stand. I've had to face many difficult things in my life, but this is by far the hardest.
The first person I thought of when I wanted to interview other MILSOs for this blog post was my best friend, Carly. Meet Carly and Logan, Logan is a Marine stationed in Germany, and Carly is a college freshman at Kennasaw State University in Georgia.
My interview with Carly started out with the usual formalities and goofiness that exists between best friends before I got down to the serious stuff:
M: Okay Carly, time to get serious. What is the hardest part about being a MILSO?
C: Most people would probably say the distance, but for me, its knowing that there is so much going on in my life that he is missing out on. I am a freshman in college and I feel like he has missed so much of the past year and a half. The second hardest thing is most definitely the distance though.
M: I've heard you say multiple times, "Well its the needs of the Marines.", what do you mean by this?
C: When you are in a relationship with someone in the military, you have to learn very quickly that they live by a "duty first" code. No matter how much I know Logan loves me, the USMC will always come before our relationship as long as he is in active service.
M: If there was one thing you wanted others to know about how it feels to be a MILSO, what would it be?
C: I feel like people always perceive MILSOs as these stay at home moms and wives that can't have their own careers, and that is 100% not true. I put a lot of time and effort into supporting Logan, but I know that he supports me too. I think that people need to realize that its a two way street.
The second interview I did was with Mrs. Shayna Hale. Shayna is married to EONC Sarah Hale and they will have been together two years on December 29th.Sarah is a United States Seabee with the Naval Mobile Construction Battalion 3 while Shayna is a nanny living in Southern California. They got married four months ago and Sarah was deployed exactly a month later on August 5, 2013. Meet the Hales:
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My interview with Shayna, unlike my interview with Carly, did not begin with joking around. I found that Shayna was very thoughtful in answering my questions and I feel very honored that she was willing to share her story with me.
M: Congratulations on your marriage! This is your second deployment with Sarah but your first as a married couple, what makes this one different than the one before?
S: Thank you. We just got married and heading into deployment so soon ahas so many more challenges than you'd think. Sarah and I are both devastated that we are being robbed of our first year of marriage. While the only papers most newlyweds have to fill out are the ones for their first house, I was signing paperwork for what should happen if she were to die and how the money should be dispersed.
M: What have you found to be the hardest part of this deployment?
S: The time difference has been terrible. We are newlyweds and in separate countries and total opposite time zones, when its noon here in Los Angeles its 4 am overseas. Our biggest struggle is definitely finding time to talk, I work full time and so does she. Between the time difference and our schedules, it seems like one of us is always awake while the other is asleep.
M: How do you cope with being away from Sarah?
S: The God's honest truth is, you just do. People say that you have no idea how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have and I completely agree with that. You can't possibly know what you and your spouse are capable of enduring until you're going through it. We stay connected through Facetime and iMessage, and what keeps us going is our love for each other and looking forward to Homecoming. Eye on the prize, the moment when she steps off the plane and I am finally able to have her in my arms after the countless days, weeks, and months apart makes all of the anger, sorrow, loneliness and pain seem worth it.
The third MILSO that I chose to interview was an obvious choice for me. Growing up, two of my best friends were my cousins Tiffany and Heather Page. Over the years as we grew up and grew apart, Tiffany became someone that I looked up to. Tiffany met her husband Matthew Lockridge on May 17 of 2007, Matthew joined the United States Airforce in November of 2010, and they were married on May 21, 2011. Matthew is an E-4 also known as a Senior Airman and is on a Remote Tour outside of Gunsan, South Korea, while he is deployed Tiffany has moved back home to Glencoe, Alabama. So y'all, I am proud to introduce my family to you, meet the Lockridges:
Because I know so much about Tiffany and her family, my interview with her was so much more personal.
M: I know that you are really close to your parents and Heather, how hard was it for you to move away from home after y'all were married?
T: The first couple of months after we moved away from home were very hard. (They moved from Glencoe, Alabama to the Malmstrom Airforce Base in Great Falls, Minnosota.) It was very emotional adjusting to living together as a married couple and being away from home for the first time ever. We were 23 years old and away from our families for the first time. It was hard adjusting to the military way of life, especially sinve we moved three times while we were stationed there. I felt like I couldn't call it home. However, Matthew and I learned to lean on each other, we became each other's rock, and that helped more than anything.
M: What have you found to be the hardest thing about being away from Matthew?
T: I would have to say that the hardest part about being separated is the adjustment of not going to bed and waking up together and having to get creative with our communication. I used to think that the special occasions, such as Christmas, holidays, and birthdays, were going to be the hardest part, but it is actually the time in between. When the little things happen, like a funny story or watching TV or cooking together, or just having someone to go to the movies with is the hardest thing ever. Being away from Matthew is a day to day struggle with a lot of ups and downs along the way.
M: Okay Tiffany, last question, if there was one thing you would want others to know about how it feels to be married to someone in the military, what would it be?
T: That's a hard one, I think I would want someone to know that its a huge sacrifice for us both. We give up so much of our lives for a cause because it is bigger than ourselves. He sacrifices his time with his family to be in the military because he believes in freedom and in our country. Most people think that spouses have pity parties for themselves and that is the exact opposite, I have learned to look within myself for the strength to carry on and be strong for him on his rough days. I have learned to put myself and my feelings aside for the needs of the military because that is what you do for someone you love.
I know that this is yet another blog post void of an "argument", however I wanted to point out how truly inspiring and strong I find the MILSOs of our United States Military. So often we hear of the strength of the men and women in uniform, but I am a firm believer that they wouldn't be half as strong without the people that stand behind and beside them.
